A few Funnies to keep you going.

Hickey · Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 29 Location: Dublin

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.

That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again."

--------------------------------------------------------------
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of it looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower and stood again in front of the mirror, she now complains her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. " If you want your breasts to grow, then everyday take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything the wife gets some toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. " How long will this take to work? " she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of a few years " he replies. The wife stops, "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the year? "
The husband shrugs, " Why not, it worked for your arse".
-------------------------------------------------------------------

A Mancunian, a Glaswegian, a Brummie and a Scouser are asked what they think Britains second city is. Each state their case for their respective cities

"Manchester" says the Mancunian

"No it should be Glasgow" Says the Glaswegian

The Brummie disagrees "Birmingham"

The Scouser said "London"

	Forum Index -> Jokes	All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1